Part two in this toxic leadership series discusses the emotional leader.
It’s important to note here that emotion in leadership is a really good thing.
They are the polar opposites of rejecting leaders, they actually care a lot.
The challenge with ‘the emotional leader‘ isn’t the expression of emotion.
It’s the unpredictability of which emotion we are going to see on any given day.
And consequently the environment this can create:
One of stress and anxiety for all parties.
Once again, these are caricature traits, not based on any specific individuals.
However, there is often a time we may see ourselves in these traits, for better or for worse.
An important part of leadership is the skill to self reflect, and as we journey through these styles, it presents a great opportunity for exactly that.
Remembering, there is no one perfect style.
There is no such thing as a perfect leader.
And we are never striving for perfection.
It’s about adaptability, understanding the unique benefits of each style, and looking at ways we can weave in the good.
Whilst leaving out some of the not-so-good stuff 🙂
The Emotional leader
Emotional leaders tend to feel ALL the feels.
They are emotionally intelligent, perhaps so much so that it creates it’s own challenges.
The tendency is to overanalyse, overcompensate and under appreciate one’s own self.
An emotional leader is always mindful of others.
Unlike driven leaders, who are often completely task focussed.
The emotional leader is focussed almost entirely on exactly that, their emotions.
And the comments, feelings and perceptions of those around them.
Classically, they are very sensitive people.
This is a great quality, but an overly sensitive person can find themselves trapped in people pleasing behaviours.
Torn between helping their patients, their team members and trying to run an effective organisation.
Whilst also trying to create the most perfect sequences and flows.
This behaviour, striving towards people pleasing and perfection often means they struggle to commit.
In spite of their ideas, the organisation tends to run without any real structure.
Highly chaotic environments are the norm.
Which, unfortunately, feed forward into more emotionally driven behaviour.
There is always so much to do, but no time to do it.
Another task goes unfinished whilst more get added to the pile.
This creates a stress, tension and anxiety.
Not just for the leader and their work, but for those around them as well.
Often team members are not sure who is going to be turning up to work that day.
Whether it will be their highly empathetic, loving, caring, leader.
Or someone who flys into the building in a huff after an altercation with someone in traffic.
The worst place for these type of leaders can be a startup business.
Where there is already enough fire, without someone pouring kerosene over it.
Unfortunately, they often find themselves exactly here – or within organisations going through highly turbulent times.
Their strength is to work in chaos, because that is their default mode.
But their overwhelming weakness, is the inability to take those chaotic environments and organise them.
To make them anything other than more, and more chaotic.
Riding the rollercoaster of emotion
Literally yesterday, I felt this experience when I visited a shared office space.
In my true Brunswick lefty fashion, I brought my bike upstairs, only to be greeted by arguably the biggest over-reaction in the history of the universe (perhaps hyperbole, but you get the point).
The owner, looking stunned, immediately sought to ensure that my bike did not enter the workspace.
She did not even stand up, and I could see from her eyes that I was absolutely not welcome to take another step.
It was completely overwhelming, and as she blurted out all sorts of reasons why she couldn’t show me where the bike lock-up was, I had already turned around.
Headed straight back towards the lift to go back down and figure this one out myself.
This person obviously cared very deeply for her environment, the cleanliness and the organisation of the space.
Great qualities for anyone, and clearly someone who was very passionate about her job.
But this overwhelming response meant that for the rest of the day, I genuinely felt the need to completely avoid eye-contact with her.
Ironically, creating the perfect environment for her clients came at the expense of her own customers experience.
Great things about emotional leadership
An emotionally engaged leader can have a hugely positive effect on the team around them.
They are often great listeners who give off high levels of empathy.
They are also very passionate people. And when someone speaks on a topic they are truly passionate about, this can create a brilliant environment for others’ to fall in behind.
It’s a great way of engaging followers and bringing them along through highly expressive communication.
Classically, they are also very good at putting others’ needs first, which means the people who work for them benefit greatly.
Drawbacks of being overtly emotional
Decision making is probably the hardest thing for the emotional leader.
Often there isn’t always a clear answer and they can get lost in their own need to please others, at all costs.
Classically, this is where we will see problems of dependence – such as the excessive use of alcohol or even illicit drugs.
When in conflict, things can get very ugly, too.
Issues can become highly personal and this leader may become completely volatile.
Unfortunately, with so much emotion driving their behaviour, the work gets completely lost.
To the point where the emotional leader may actually be completely disengaged.
Moving from one drama to the next in a highly turbulent, unpredictable fashion.
Becoming the “Visionary“
Someone with high levels of emotional intelligence is organisational gold.
And these people are best placed to lead, if they can truly harness this strength.
An emotional leader can move most fluidly towards a visionary state.
Where they provide the passion, positive energy and the connection that gets others motivated.
The visionary traits, can be great for organisational change and creating extremely positive cultures.
Stay tuned next week as we look to dissect the rejecting leader.
